
She was still swaying as the last honey-laden tunes
Of sweet summer faded away like fragile baby’s breath—
Her eyes were closed, a shawl lightly over shoulders
Under the net of stars that had become a shroud
As one by one they died silent into the pale light
Of a clouded dawn, and all the guests had gone
In a whispered goodbye, like the twinkle in his eye.
But the womb still has its memory as does the heart—
Heart over heart, head over head, eight months bodied
Though autumn breezes steal him away like a changeling,
Like a changeling into winter’s overcoat to fleeting summer’s loss—
I will not speak of spring, she said, breathing gusts of prayer
Aware at last of the chillness in the air, but of tombs, oh LORD, empty
Oh, my God, in that long-expectant day, birthing him to eternity, holy.
1 Corinthians 15:51-52 (NIV)
Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.
Check out these two remarkable writing prompts: Shay's Word Garden Word List, of which three must be used; dVerse's MTB, where a couplet (at the end in mine) or a couple is required.
So poignant, Dora and so beautiful!
“birthing him to eternity, holy.” What a closing line… fabulous!
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Oh, the breaking of the heart!
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Heartfelt excellence
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This was lovely, and unexpected. I liked it a lot.
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❤️❤️❤️🙂
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The anguish is surely worded.
Well Done.
Happy you dropped by to read mine.
Much💛love
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Gorgeous!
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This is intense. This woman has lost a child and the night stars have turned to a shroud. The line about the womb brings it home that she feels she has lost a part of herself, in this child. Someone said that when we have a child it is like having part of your heart walking around in the world outside you. This woman, though, despite her pain, has faith that death is not final (“Death, where is thy sting?”) and that her child continues to live in some other place, perhaps even more vibrantly than in the flesh. Personally, I believe that 100%. Thanks so much for sharing this poignant piece with the Word List, Dora. And thank you for your marvelous comment on my own poem–it meant a lot.
–Shay
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You’re so welcome, Shay. Your poetry is a great pleasure to read. ❤️
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I am sorry for you loss. I have felt pain like that, too. I’m sorry.
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Your opening stanza brought a tear to my eye, Dora. I love the imagery in: ‘…sweet summer faded away like fragile baby’s breath’ and ‘… the net of stars that had become a shroud / As one by one they died silent into the pale light / Of a clouded dawn’. And then I felt a lurch when I read: ‘But the womb still has its memory as does the heart’. Such a poignant poem, especially for mothers who have lost children.
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I guess I don’t see how this is related to the dVerse prompt about couplets? I don’t see any couplets here.
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I don’t see how this is related to the dVerse prompt. I don’t see any couplets here.
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Dora: This is such a beautiful heartfelt write but it does lack the couplet requirement. You mention you have a couplet at the end…..perhaps you could simply fix the wording and the spacing so there is obviously a concluding coplet? Because Laura is unable to tend the pub, I’m overseeing it for this prompt….I’ll look back again later today to see if you’ve changed the writing of it here to include a couplet. If not, sadly, I’ll have to delete it from Mr. Linky. And I really don’t want to do that because, as others have said, it is quite beautifully written. I hope you can adjust it to include a couplet at the end.
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Hi Lillian,
I would have thought “holy” and “empty” an oblique rhyme at the very least but please feel free to delete the poem from dVerse.
pax,
Dora
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I am so sorry, Dora. The prompt is to write in couplets. Everyone else understood this. The couplets could contain rhyme or not. The point was to write in couplets. I hate to be the enforcer but sadly, that’s what I’m to do. I do hope to see you on dVerse many many more times…and again, this is truly a piece of beautiful writing. It just does not fall within the boundaries of the prompt.
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No need to be sorry, Lillian.
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Beautiful, Dora. Sad, tender and with that comfort of belief that I know is what we need when tragedy strikes.
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I’ll be praying for you I know winter can be a challenge with your health
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“one by one they died silent into the pale light” – that is amazing and powerful.
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A beautiful write, Dora, with such delicate powerful imagery. I love these lines:
“But the womb still has its memory as does the heart—
Heart over heart, head over head, eight months bodied
Though autumn breezes steal him away like a changeling,”
❤
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My takeaway in this, somewhat surprisingly, is of a spiritual triumph, of grief not so much overcome as integrated. Our journey here is full of all manner of experiences, pains and joys, both damaging and healing; all have something to tell us.Very beautiful and profound writing.
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The detailed imagery in this really deepens the loss and feel of the poem Dora. Such a great grief, and I hope you did not endure it but if you did I send light and love your way.
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