Confession of a Bibliopole

*A bibliopole is a person who buys and sells books, especially rare ones.

This Dream recurs — I am the Bird —
Neither the Darkness — nor the Light —
Ranging over Estates of books
Endless — See one Book — now Ubiquitous — contains Life
Lights the Path —while others
Never overcome the Light

A recent post by a fellow blogger1 awakened me yet again to issues of abuse. Extremes of reaction and behavior caused by past abuse. Impossibly high standards it engenders. Unrealistic expectations. Childhood scars that reopen and bleed. Shedding these old habits of thought/behavior and clearing our lungs of them by achieving moderation does take time … but particularly time in the word of God. Diving deep and long, letting the Holy Spirit fill our lungs with His love so we can breathe more easily in our own skin. Theology is not a luxury but a necessity that God alone can provide through the special revelation that is His inerrant and infallible word. Through it we come to know that He is the Rock that is higher than all others, as the psalmist puts it, a fortress of peace, stability and safety. But more: He gives life, abundant life, His own, by uniting us with Himself, Emmanuel, God with us, the incarnate God, Christ Jesus. Finally, union with Christ is God’s divine life poured into us by His Spirit and we become a new creation, leaving the past behind, following a new path that leads to life eternal, and pressing on “toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”2

Psalm 119:105 (KJV)
Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

John 8:12
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 1:5
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 6:68
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

2Phillipians 3:12,14
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. … I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

1Anna Waldherr writes at A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse: her most recent post is “Of Ogres and Onions”

image credit: "The Silent Hunter" by Graham Eaton, Carrie's Sunday Muse #237 photo prompt and
Sammi's Weekend Writing Prompt #286 (39 words, "bibliopole")

14 thoughts on “Confession of a Bibliopole

  1. Jim

    Dora, your Scripture verses are right on!!
    I’m liking the bird, endless appearances, checking on his books. He/she has picked the goodies, the ones to follow and the ways from which to stay away.
    I too was abused by my father. He had a change of life when I was in the fifth grade, we all started going to church. But like a recurring dream, his abuse of me would would not go away. (I have had three of those, the first dissapeared, later two more appeared. They too disappeared, together, I know not why or exactly when.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting Jim. In some ways those dreams are maybe subconscious ways of healing, forcing us to confront the pain in similitude where we are unable to straight on. The emotional scars remain and affect so much of our thinking/behavior as Anna’s post brought to the fore. There is no healing from some trauma except with God’s help. We can lay ourselves open to Him without fear, take it all to Him, He knows us through and through anyway, like a Good Shepherd, binds our wounds each time they twinge, because nothing like Scripture, nothing like the Gospel, penetrates our hearts and liberates us by the power of the Holy Spirit to bask in our Father’s love, faithful, eternal, true.


  2. Jesus must be spinning in heaven knowing what atrocities have been connected to Christ-ianity. He unmistakably emphasized love, compassion and non-violence — especially towards ALL children — the opposite of what enables the most horrible acts of human cruelty to occur on this planet. Sadly, sometimes those atrocious acts are allowed to remain a buried secret.

    I believe Jesus was viciously murdered because he did not behave in accordance to corrupted human conduct and expectation — and in particular because he was nowhere near to being the vengeful, wrathful, and sometimes even bloodthirsty, behemoth so many people seemingly wanted or needed their savior to be and therefore believed he’d have to be.

    Being fundamentally about compassion, charity and love, Jesus’ nature and teachings [from my understanding] left even John the Baptist, who believed in him as the savior, troubled by his apparently contradictory version of the Hebraic messiah, with which John had been raised. Perhaps most perplexing was the Biblical Jesus’ revolutionary teaching of non-violently offering the other cheek as the proper response to being physically assaulted by one’s enemy.

    Jesus coming to serve, rather than to be served, is also most profound and hope-inducing. Most notably, at least for me, his washing his disciples’ feet was/is the most profound and hopeful example of the humility of the divine, who, through Jesus, joined humankind in our miseries, joys and everything in between. Personally, I picture Jesus as being one who’d enjoy a belly-shaking laugh over a good, albeit clean, joke with his disciples/followers, now and then.

    [Though I’m likely preaching to the converted] Jesus was/is meant to show to people that there really was/is hope for the many — especially for young people living in today’s physical, mental and spiritual turmoil — seeing hopelessness in a fire-and-brimstone angry-God-condemnation creator requiring literal pain-filled penance/payment for Man’s sinful thus corrupted behavior. Fundamentally, that definitely includes resurrection.


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